I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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