I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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