Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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