The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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