my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
