How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
