As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
