dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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