SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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