dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
