Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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