The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
