So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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