and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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