Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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