Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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