That's intense
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think I sprained my soul last night
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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