You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
