shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
