Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
