we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
