his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
