Don't you send me to vm
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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