i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
