Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
