I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She told me I should be a condom model.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
