so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
