Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
