I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
