oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
