Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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