careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
