Porn is love you can see.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
