Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
