So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize