Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
