i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
