Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize