Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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