i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
