It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
