i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
