You really coming over, don't trick.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
