Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
