Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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