that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
