I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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