I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
