I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
