Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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