I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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