No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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