He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
