he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize