I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize