I wanna bring you to show and tell
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
