youre lurking in front of me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize