It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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