Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
