i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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