Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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