I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
