I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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